Finding the right teacher can be frustrating.  One of the things I have noticed, especially in beginners, is the feeling that one NEEDS a teacher, Right Here, Right NOW!! 

The truth, however, is that you are your own best teacher.  There is a wealth of information right inside of you, all you have to do is tap into it... all you have to do is learn to sit and listen to that quiet inner voice, the one that tells you "this is a good idea", "that is a bad idea".  You'll need that voice a lot, especially as you do start down the Path that leads you to finding a flesh and blood teacher (other than yourself.)

I also suggest you do some serious reading and research.  You'll want to go to the library and check out different mythologies -- not just Bulfinch and Budge, either.  Read up on different cultures, anything and everything you think you might be interested in.  Make an afternoon of it.  Make several afternoons of it.  If you come from a religious background, make sure you understand what it is you're leaving behind (boy, can THAT be enlightening!  The things they don't teach in Sunday school...!)  You may even want to read some psychology books, because believe it or not, half of magic is just good psychology.   Of course you should check out a few basic books on Wicca while you're at it.

There are literally thousands of books out there on the subject of Wicca -- possibly hundreds of thousands, as well as Internet pages, websites, blogs... I look around and I honestly don't know how anyone muddles their way through the quagmire of -- forgive me -- largely useless junk available to the Beginner Pagan (you know, someone who can't tell the good from the bad from the ugly, simply because they ARE a beginner.) 

That is the biggest reason I chose about 30 books on Silver Skein's recommended reading page.  No one needs to read all of them, but if you start with a couple of the beginning level books and move on to a few of the intermediate level books, you'll have a pretty good idea of what YOU want to get out of all this (and more importantly, if this Path is really for you.)

And if all of that sounds a little too much like real work... well, it is.

Doesn't it take a witch to make a witch?

Yes and no.  It takes a witch to initiate  a witch.  We believe very firmly that there is no such thing as Self Initiation.  For those that argue, ask yourself this: what exactly are you initiating yourself into?  A Coven?  A Clan?  A Grove?  Being initiated implies being initiated INTO something.  That requires the involvement of other people.

Self Dedication is another matter all together.  Sometimes all you have is yourself -- and who would we be to say you aren't Dedicated or a "proper" witch?  Anyone can be a witch, it just takes study and dedication.  Anyone can be a Wiccan; no one holds a copyright on the name (except for maybe the Gods and in any case, who would we be to argue with Them!) 

The difference here is that one cannot be a "Third Degree" witch/Wiccan without someone actually putting you through the initiation (and hopefully the training before hand!)  Titles and degrees are given by other people.  Your faith comes from somewhere deep inside; it is between you and the Gods.

Before you go to meet with a prospective teacher/coven:

Have some idea of what YOU want from them -- what are YOU looking for?  This is why we suggest doing some research on your own.  There are literally hundreds of traditions out there.  Some have lineages fifty years old.  Others are just starting to come together. 

Do you want to get in "on the ground floor" and shape a Coven from scratch with a bunch of other dedicated folks, or do you want something that already has a shape and a form all its own?  There are pros and cons to both situations and neither is better than the other.

Starting on the ground floor means you get serious influence over the direction in which the group grows... it also means a certain amount of chaos in the beginning as everyone finds their place.  Lots of groups fail in the first year... but not all.  With hard work, it can be a rewarding experience to be a founding member of a fledgeling Coven, Circle, or Grove.

Getting involved with an established group means less chaos (hopefully), but it can be a wee bit more intimidating as everyone already knows each other, friendships have been built up and there is a set structure to the way they do things.  You won't have nearly as much say in the way things go... but by the same token, your needs should not be ignored either.  The High Priestess and High Priest should be open to your suggestions and ideas; they may not be willing to change coven policy, but they should at least LISTEN to you and consider what you have to say as serious and valid.  

You may also want to decide what kind of "energy" you are looking for.  Do you want to be a part of a very serious working group that gets straight down to business... or are you looking for something more laid back, folks that know how to get stuff done when the time comes, but who also understand that sharing a good meal, a bottle of wine and some laughter is also honoring the Gods (hint: Silver Skein falls into the latter catagory!)

When you meet with someone for the first (or second or third) time, ask questions.  Remember, you are interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing you.  They may not be able to answer every question at a first meeting, but they should be able to tell you a little bit about themselves and the group they represent.

A few common questions include: 

How many members are there in your coven?  (No, really, in this day and age, this should not be a secret.  Don't expect full names or telephone numbers, but no one should hide how large or small they are.)

What is the age range of your membership?  (If you're 80, you're probably not going to want to get involved with a group that's made up entirely of kids in their late teens and early twenties.  The reverse is also true.)  You may also want to know if there are children and pets running around.  In Silver Skein, we have both children and anmials as residents and regular visitors to our covenstead.

Do you charge for teaching?  (The answer to this should ALWAYS be 'no'.  Most covens maintain some sort of small fund to help pay for candles and incense, but covens should not charge dues or have a fee for classes unless they are being taught in a public venue where the rental of space is an issue.)

When and where do you usually meet?  What do you expect of your members?  In other words, does YOUR life and schedule mesh with their requirments and schedule.  Are they willing to work around your needs... or are your needs just too much for them to work around.  Let me say it again:  Not every group is for every person.

Never be afraid to ask a potential teacher how long they've been involved in Wicca and where they got their training.  If they refuse to give you a straight answer, you might want to ask yourself why that is.  Listen to the little voice telling you it's a bad sign.

When meeting the entire Coven:

Try to spend a few minutes talking to each person, including other guests.  Ask things like "How long have you been a member of  the Coven?"  (or you can ask guests how long they've known the group and how they met them.)  

While no one is going to give out too much personal information when they first meet you, no one should be opposed to this sort of "small talk," either.  You can learn a lot about a group by the answers you get to these sorts of innucous questions. 

Ask how members got involved in Wicca, what movie they saw last weekend, what kind of music they like, what their hobbies are.  Most Covens spend at least some time together outside of "official" Coven activities.  Before seriously considering joining a group, you want to be sure you like the people involved and that you have enough in common to sustain that sort of relationship with them.  (A side note: no Coven, or any other religious group for that matter, should demand TOO much of its members' time... but since 'too much' is subjective,  you'll have to listen to the voice of reason inside your own head.  Be sure you ask if these social get togethers are "required", or if members just like hanging out because they all play D & D every weekend.  Pay attention to the attiude they have towards the members who don't get in on the D & D game.  Healthy friendships meaning accepting that we don't all have the same hobbies.)

Don't mistake strong friendships for cliquishness -- but by the same token, ask yourself if the group over all made you feel welcome and a part of things. 

Did they make an effort to include you in their conversations? 

Did they make the effort to get to know you?  (And please take some responsibilty here.  Don't sit back in a corner and expect folks to come to you.  Even if you're shy get up and join the knot of people sitting around the sofa.  Make the effort to BE a part of the group.  It is a two-way street.)

Do the conversations you hear or are a part of make you comfortable?  In Silver Skein, we CAN get a bit bawdy at times.  We are fairly sensitive when there are small children present, but occasionally humor runs towards the ribald.  Chances are there is another knot of people in another room having a quieter conversation.  Feel free to drift from one knot to another or if something makes you uncomfortable, feel free to say so!  This should be true of all groups.

Do people treat each other with respect and affection?  Are there plenty of "pleases" and "thank yous"?  Is there a sense of family, friendship?  Is there anything at all that makes you uncomfortable, unhappy or just plain doesn't feel right?   

Lastly, if you enjoyed yourself, feel free to ask to be invited to return -- remember that even though we are witches, we can't read your mind!  (Again, this goes for any group you're looking into.)

I strongly recommend that you read this  article  on the Witches' Voice Website  (Witchvox.com) before meeting with a prospective teacher/coven.   It is an exceptionally well written article about how to spot a good -- and a bad -- teacher by the things that they do and don't do.

Brightest blessings,
Helen Pattskyn,
HPs, Silver Skein Coven